Hello, Heather

As promised, I signed up for an Internet dating site. I took the personality test at Chemistry.com and it matched me with some pretty hot numbers. Unfortunately, I refused to pay the $26.65 sign up fee, so actually contacting and talking with these women is out of the question. Instead, I'll just look at their pictures and pretend we had long meaningful talks about life and love. Hey, Heather, remember when you made that really charming and introspective comment about how people treat one another? Of course you don't. But you might ask yourself; if you're just looking at pictures of women and fantasizing, how is that any different than looking at pornography? Well, when you look at porn you stroke your penis. When you look at Chemistry.com, you're just stroking your ego.

I did find out a bit about myself through the websites personality test. For instance, did you know that I'm interested in sex? "Of all twelve (primary/secondary) types, you are also the most sexual-because both dopamine and testosterone stimulate the sex drive". I had no idea that I was such a sexually driven person. I should probably tell my wife this. My unstoppable sexual appetite has less to do with me being a pervert and more to do with my genetic makeup. It's not my fault. It's sciences fault. You can't blame me for hunting for strange ass in a grocery store than you can blame a lion for playing piggyback with a gazelle.