"Wake Up" by Tim Armstrong

Off the album A Poet's Life, this is "Wake Up" by Tim Armstrong, lead singer for Rancid and ex-guitarist for Operation Ivy. Enjoy:

The Choking Game for Dogs

By now you've heard of the Choking Game where kids deprive themselves of oxygen to achieve a small rush. Some kids get injured. Some kids die. It's horrible. Well, apparently this type of reckless behaviour isn't reserved strictly for children. I went into Ernie's room (yes, my dog has his own room) and found something very peculiar in his sock drawer. It was a bag of Ol' Roy dog biscuits with about 5 or 6 chocolate truffles throw in.

At first I was appalled that he would bring that inferior dog food into our home, but when I found the truffles, I was speechless. Come to find out it's some sort of Russian roulette for dogs. A couple dogs sit around in a circle and you close your eyes and grab a treat from the bag. Some are dog biscuits. Some are truffles. Some make your coat shiny. Some kill you.

Speaking of drug addicts, Rush Limbaugh said on his radio program that the media is making too big a deal over this whole oil spill fiasco. "The ocean will take care of this on it's own. . . " Limbaugh said. "It's natural. It's as natural as the ocean water is". I agree. What better way to solve a man-made catastrophe than to pass the buck back to mother nature?

And as apathetic as I am to the environment and Rush Limbaugh, I'm equally apathetic to what Ernie does in his free time. Honestly, I think he's a giant tool. Never really cared for the guy. But what I really don't like is being lied to. Ernie had the audacity to say he was holding them for a friend.

One Purple Toe and Two Goofy Smiles

The other day I stubbed my toe while carrying Lukas around the house. I was too concerned with making googlie eyes at my boy that my left foot ran aground on the beaches of my Total Gym 1500. It wasn't my big toe and it wasn't my pinky toe. It was one of those toes in the middle that you don't really need and seldom pay any attention to.

Other things have gone out of focus since Lukas' birth. This blog has been one of those. I'm sure, though, that the three people out there who actually read this will excuse my absence due to these unforeseen circumstances. I wasn't even aware that Bekki was pregnant. I just assumed she had some large tumor.

We've spent these past two weeks entertaining family (who we are forever indebted to) and watching cheesy comedies through Netflix. We watched the Hangover. It was decent. We watched Stepbrothers. It was horrible. Completely horrible. I also picked up a copy of Fight Club by Chuck Palahniuk. Bekki bought it for me in 2005. It's been five years, but I finally got around to reading it and it's a pretty damn good book. It's also an easy read which is good for me because I'm not too bright. I sure hope Lukas gets his mothers brains. And her looks. If he gets my sense of fashion, I'll be happy. Bekki has a lot of things going for her, but she just can't rock a sweater vest the way I can.

Last night, we stuck a thermometer up Lukas' butt. I felt so bad for the little guy. Unless, of course, he turns out to be a homosexual. In that case, you're welcome, little guy. Unfortunately, he shat all over the thermometer and all over Bekki's hand. Lukas didn't seem to mind. I'm just glad I wasn't the one holding it. He may not have given me the stinkhand last night, but he has given me two things that I just can't seem to get rid of- a purple toe and a smile that won't fade.