Monday, May 3, 2010

One Purple Toe and Two Goofy Smiles

The other day I stubbed my toe while carrying Lukas around the house. I was too concerned with making googlie eyes at my boy that my left foot ran aground on the beaches of my Total Gym 1500. It wasn't my big toe and it wasn't my pinky toe. It was one of those toes in the middle that you don't really need and seldom pay any attention to.

Other things have gone out of focus since Lukas' birth. This blog has been one of those. I'm sure, though, that the three people out there who actually read this will excuse my absence due to these unforeseen circumstances. I wasn't even aware that Bekki was pregnant. I just assumed she had some large tumor.

We've spent these past two weeks entertaining family (who we are forever indebted to) and watching cheesy comedies through Netflix. We watched the Hangover. It was decent. We watched Stepbrothers. It was horrible. Completely horrible. I also picked up a copy of Fight Club by Chuck Palahniuk. Bekki bought it for me in 2005. It's been five years, but I finally got around to reading it and it's a pretty damn good book. It's also an easy read which is good for me because I'm not too bright. I sure hope Lukas gets his mothers brains. And her looks. If he gets my sense of fashion, I'll be happy. Bekki has a lot of things going for her, but she just can't rock a sweater vest the way I can.

Last night, we stuck a thermometer up Lukas' butt. I felt so bad for the little guy. Unless, of course, he turns out to be a homosexual. In that case, you're welcome, little guy. Unfortunately, he shat all over the thermometer and all over Bekki's hand. Lukas didn't seem to mind. I'm just glad I wasn't the one holding it. He may not have given me the stinkhand last night, but he has given me two things that I just can't seem to get rid of- a purple toe and a smile that won't fade.

4 comments:

green0rose said...

You are crazy............but you sure can write and I love your sense of humor............xoxoxoxoxo

Granny

Katherine said...

That's so precious :)

Peter Varvel said...

He must have his Aunt Peter's rectum . . . He makes me smile, too! <3

Emily said...

Congrats! I've been out of cyberspace for awhile but I pledge to read and am so happy that Lukas has found his way here. (Shit or no shit.)