Thursday, July 23, 2009
Many in Congress have already admitted that the thousand page bill cannot be read before the President's deadline, but would probably not be read even if given more time. This leads the casual observer to suggest that Congress handle this matter the way they handle other matters. Republicans and Democrats should just pull their dicks out and compare size. Whoever has the largest members has the largest vote. Health care solved.
The Dick-in-your-Hand Solution does possess a few drawbacks, though. Obviously Governor Mark Sanford and John Ensign would be exempt due to personal reasons. A less radical approach would be a shouting contest. Participants merely need to turn on their televisions for a few hours. Whichever party can air the most political commercials for their cause wins. Like many Americans, I refuse to take anything at face value. That's why I sided with the first commercial I saw. That's also why I called my grandmother and urged her to stay indoors after hearing Lil' Wayne sing "I wanna f*ck every girl in the world". Knowing Lil' Wayne's dedication to his work, I just couldn't take any chances.
Saturday, July 11, 2009
It has been a tiring two weeks since the passing of pop icon Michael Jackson. Celebrations have sprung up all over the world as well as the ongoing controversy surrounding his death. With all the Michael Jackson news flying around, it's hard to decide which stories should be given the most credence. The story that seems to be slowly rising to the top, though, is not of Michael Jackson the famous singer, but Michael Jackson the most influential civil rights leader this country has ever seen.
National figures such as Jesse Jackson and the Rev. Al Sharpton have publicly acknowledged their debt to this trail blazing pioneer. At the official memorial, Sharpton said, "It was Michael Jackson who brought blacks and whites and Asians and Latinos together". I feel embarrassed, because I honestly had no idea. I can only assume that folks from the 1960's were equally unimpressed with Martin Luther King, Jr. It isn't until post-mortem that a person's true greatness can be fully appreciated. I can't wait until more celebrities die. Then I can finally find out what I'll remember them for.
At one point in his address, Sharpton claims the Oprah's and the Obama's of the world only exist by standing on the shoulders of Michael. I applaud you, Rev. Sharpton, for having the courage and clarity to say what I always knew in my heart to be true. I'm not sure if I could have ever voted for a black president had I not heard "Don't Stop Til You Get Enough".
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
After two and half weeks of Iranian protests, there seems no end in sight to the protests or the government backlash. On Monday, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad added a new spice to his bullshit casserole. The Fars news agency reported Ahmadinejad as saying the death of Neda Agha-Soltan was "suspicious". Iran's Ambassador to mexico, Mohammad Hassan Ghadiri, added ". . . if the CIA wants to kill some people and attribute that to the government elements, then choosing women is an appropriate choice, because the death of a woman draws more sympathy".
Although the CIA denies any involvement, it's clear that our boys in polyester suits are earning their keep. What better way to drag the spotless reputation of the Republic of Iran through the mud? Then it should only be fitting, folks, that Iran would send it's own team of cracker-jacks over to the States for some Bourne Supremacy styled ass kicking. Their target? - Michael Jackson.
Apparently this was done as an attempt to throw off the Western media to the growing discontentment in Iran. What better way to alter the 24-hour streaming news giants like CNN and MSNBC than to kill an icon of the 1980's? Even Al Jazeera can't mask the awful truth, though. The truth that Iran had Michael Jackson killed to divert the spotlight. That or they caught him in bed with Israel.