I Interrupt Someone Trying to Read from the Bible

"I don't believe in evolution, but I had to sit through it in high school. So why can't you keep quiet while I read Scripture?"

I'm sorry, what?

"I believe in the Bible. If things like dinosaurs existed, God would've mentioned them."

You don't believe in dinosaurs? The big things with the teeth and the claws? Really?

"No."

So you believe everything the Bible tells you?

"Yes."

So I can assume that you treat your slave with compassion?

"Will you just be quiet, please?"

But if you don't believe in dinosaurs because the Bible fails to mention them, do you also not believe in Tony Bennett?

"What?"

Tony Bennett. The Bible never mentions Tony Bennett. Not once.

"I think Tony Bennett came after the Bible was written."

I think you're right.

"I am."