Monday, January 11, 2010

Death of a Socialite

Casey Johnson, heiress to the Johnson and Johnson empire, has passed away at the age of 30. She has left behind her adopted daughter, a celebrity girlfriend and two pampered pooches who have, apparently, pissed alot of people off. Los Angeles police were called to the home of Johnson's fiance, reality tv star Tila Tequila, to settle a dispute with friends Bijou Philips and Nicky Hilton as they came to collect Johnson's two dogs on behalf of her family. Tequila claimed that the two wanted to put Johnson's elderly dog, Zoey, to sleep and bury it with her. Luckily, Johnson and Tequila had not yet wed. Under heiress custom, all legal property must be buried in the tomb with the deceased.

And celebrity gossip columnist Perez Hilton can bad mouth her all he wants, but my heart goes out to Miss Tequila who, sadly, has only a few hundred thousand Twitter followers to comfort her. Sure her completely random and emotionally charged Tweets are skeptical at best, but if he has never lost a friend who was also doubling as a pawn in a strange and strategic career move, then how can he possibly judge her? Perez, don't hate. It's not flattering.

And get ready, Perez, I've heard that these things happen in threes. First it was Brittany Murphy, then Casey Johnson, so what next? Tila's career? Soon to be ex-wife of South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford, Jenny Sanford? We all know how vengeful those politicians can be (California congressman Gary Condit, anyone? For the moment, though, Mrs. Sanford is not dead. She is, however, extremely pissed. Fortunately for her, and her publicist, she has bottled her rage in the form of a tell all memoir, Staying True. The memoir is being released in early February months before it's previously scheduled date. Mrs. Sanford, people don't read books anymore. If you really want someone to connect with your words of pain and betrayal, I suggest you channel them into a series of Tweets. Has the death of Casey Johnson taught you nothing?

1 comment:

Peter Varvel said...

If your wife were not expecting your child, this post would leave me doubting your heterosexuality.