No, I'm what you would call an amateur enthusiast. My heart's in the right place, but I lack the knowledge and field work to be a true professional. I honestly don't even know what a vagina looks like in the wild. What are its migration patterns? What is its life span? What is its natural habitat? -Possibly a bottle of Tylenol, because every time I go looking for it my wife gets a headache.
I do know that it's where babies come from, and this fact is constantly held over me by the old ball and chain. "Until well after this child's born, it's 80/20. I'm invested 80%, you're invested 20%" And a small amount of vagina envy has definitly been brought to the surface. Peeing while standing up and having an external sack are dwarfed by the awe inspiring magnitude of child birth. Her breasts will become larger. Her stomach will expand. The bones in her hips will actually move. It's almost like I'm married to Optimus Prime. Sadly, their's only one thing on me that can double in size, and that's my waistline.