Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Breastfeeding at the Mall

Recently I read a story about Salma Hayek breastfeeding some African baby whose mother couldn't produce any milk. How disgusting. An American mother would never shed her modesty, even to help a hungry child. Modesty is a hallmark of American ideology. Just ask anyone at Fox News. All I had to do was ask a group of teenage girls hanging around Hollister. Who I only talked to, by the way, because I thought they were prostitutes.

With a wife that's seven months pregnant, I get alot of people asking me if we're going to breast feed. It's a serious question meant for a mature audience. I know this, because every time someone asks me I giggle. First off, I won't be breastfeeding the child. I've tried and I've failed. If my breasts could provide some sort of sustenance, trust me, I would. But even if I could, I wouldn't breastfeed in public. Pooping is natural, but you don't see me doing that in the middle of the food court. Right?

The point is, if you want to breastfeed in public, go to Europe. Or Sierre Leone. Or wherever it is people like Salma Hayek go to feed their children. But in America, we keep our shame and our breasts closely guarded. So will my wife breast feed? That's almost as intrusive as asking if we have sex. Which, of course, we don't. We're modest people.


Peter Varvel said...

I didn't see it, but there was a Discovery Channel show where a man kept trying and kept trying to breastfeed his own baby, and he finally triggered signals in his body to start lactating.
My friend's husband asked her, "Can we PLEASE change the channel?"

Supermom said...


I blogged about Salma Hayek and how she was my hero for breastfeeding the African baby.

I have breastfed all four of the babies. I still breastfeed the baby. It's a beautiful gift that we've been given.

I get all tickled when I see a woman nursing her child in public. Discreetly I might add. Just whipping it out for all to see is a little harsh on the eyes. There is a right and wrong way to do.

I think breastfeeding is beautiful and I'd like to think if I had been in the same situation as Salma that I would nurse the baby that needed the nourishment when his own mother didn't have any milk in her breasts.

Rock on BREASTFEEDING MOMS!!! Nurse your baby in public and be proud that you are able to do this amazing gift!!!

Michael DeAntonio said...

Peter- I don't know if I have the drive to lactate.

Supermom- Breastfeeding is for women who can't afford formula.

Supermom said...

Yeah that whole bonding thing is a just balogna.

Anonymous said...

They are just jealous that they weren't breastfed. anyone that wanted the best for their infant would breastfeed. LD RNCBECCE Breasfeeding educator