Thursday, October 22, 2009

101 Reasons Why "Lord of the Rings" Sucks

#36: It's Not Endorsed by the Wu.

Not everything in this world has to be associated with the seminal rap group Wu Tang Clan, but when you're dealing with a film of such cultural magnitude, certain rules apply. Wu Tang have used audio samples from many different films in their music. In fact, it's almost a trademark of the Wu Tang sound. If Scarface was significant enough to garner audio samplage, then why wasn't Lord of the Rings?

The film is definitely not lacking in the epic fight scene category which fuels so much of the Wu's testosterone driven sound. The film also contains numerous wisdom filled monologues delivered by venerable old men, which Rza and the Wu are obviously fond of. Even the quirky fantasy aspect, which would send most rap producers running for the hills, is a huge turn-on for the Wu (Shogun Assassin, anyone?). That leaves only one possible reason why they have never tipped their do-rags to Frodo and his merry men: they suck.

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