Wednesday, October 21, 2009

An Open Letter to Isaac Butler

Dear Isaac,

Through a recent post, Vaginas Make Men Hungry , I pushed the buttons of a few folks, and I want to sincerely apologize. In the opening sentence, I made the blanket statement that "women lie through fake teeth, claiming their fake breasts as real". I should have used the word "some", because not all women have fake breasts. I know this. Some men do as well. I know for a fact that Isaac Butler has a vagina.

Mr. Butler said that I lack the "care and sophistication" to even attempt satire. Traveling through this life and never stepping on any one's toes or hurting any one's feelings is a very real and a very tangible goal of mine. I plan to do this by never speaking. I also vow from henceforth to never mock those that Mr. Butler views as victims. These include, but I'm sure are not limited to, women, gays, and blacks.

"I'm getting really f*ing fed up with the idea that as long as you say it in thick enough quotation marks, straight people can say homophobic stuff, white people can say racist stuff, men can say misogynist stuff and on and on and on". -Isaac Butler

Paired with the name of his top secret liberal group, Black People Making White People Better People , I'm drawn to the conclusion that Mr. Butler thinks black people are the only race that can be discriminated against, or that whites are the only ones capable of discriminating against others. Has he never been around a bunch of women bashing men? Or has he never been faced with a group of homosexuals yelling "Hey, sailor!" to both establish themselves as their own group and distance themselves from another. Most of us are just tribal animals at constant war with each other anyways. Or is Mr. Butler just following standard liberal bias by believing that freedom of speech only applies if you're toting the party line?

So, because I mock victims who victimize themselves by being influenced by societal standards (which I also mock), I'm to blame? So when a mother asks her son, "If everyone else jumped off a bridge, would you?", who's to blame- the mother or the bridge? Not following? Here's another scenario: Young black men use the word "nigga" so frequently that it enters the verbal lexicon. Now it is commonplace for young white men to refer to each other as "nigga". Should I blame the young black men for perpetrating the use of the word, or young white men for following suit? I'm just trying to straighten out the "victims" from the "victimizers". You know what a young black man would say if I asked him, right? "Nigga, please".

So, in all sincerity, I would like to apologize, Isaac. I want to apologize to you and to your vagina for the insensitive and misogynistic things I've said.

Your friend,

Michael DeAntonio


Katherine said...

Top secret indeed! I'm so disappointed about not being able to see that. (...could that be construed as racist?) (...if so how do I express thick quotation marks here?) Anyway, mock on.

Cheryl said...

I sort of loosely followed the comments thread on Bamboo Nation and the weird thing is, while I (the proud owner of a real if non-virginal vagina) didn't find your post offensive at all, I also basically agree with Isaac's comments in a general sense.

I don't think any type of speech should be categorically off limits to anyone, but I do think the pendulum has swung a bit far in the direction of "Racial (etc.) humor: Now it's for everyone!" It seems like a lot of people out there (though I wouldn't include what I've read of your writing) are a little quick to want to have their cake and eat it too: all the privilege of the folks in power, plus the humor of the downtrodden. Seems a little greedy if you ask me.

Will said...

Great response. Unfortunate that it was in response to a sandy vagina.