Monday, November 23, 2009

Zombies Use Cell Phones to Eat Your Brains

I'm not what most people would call a technology guy. I don't have 3G wireless coverage. I don't have GPS that tells me when I'm lost, and I certainly don't ignore the company before me to text someone a thousand miles away. Truth be told, I don't even own a cellphone.

I know, how can a guy claiming to be so technology illiterate run such a beautifully laid out blog? Truthfully, Prince Gomolvilas met me a few years ago at a pool hall, killed me in a bathroom stall and stole my identity. He uses my moniker as his pen name and my life as his inspiration. He's a nice enough guy, but don't ever give him pointers at the billiards table.

I went out to eat the other night (celebrating the end of the 1st trimester) and a group of youngsters were sitting at a table together texting. None of them would speak, they just kept texting. They were like zombies! I know I'm suppose to be the zombie (remember, Prince killed me and dumped my body in the Hudson River? Stay with me, people). These folks, however, were like lifeless corpses plugged into the matrix.

The photo at the top just goes to prove that people in third world countries are more technologically adapt than I am. Ssh, don't tell anyone, but I've never texted(sp?) anyone.


Supermom said...

~shaking head~

How is your wife going to find you when she goes into labor?!??!???!??!

Cheryl said...

Even more importantly, how is your kid going to communicate with you when he/she is a teenager? (Actually, by that point, we'll probably be able to beam thoughts directly from brain to brain. And since we'll all be brain-eating zombies, that will be like sending messages from sandwich to sandwich.)

Prince Gomolvilas said...

Don't be so surprised, people. Michael doesn't have running water either. He makes his pregnant wife go to the well out back near the tool shed made out of sticks and mud.

Michael DeAntonio said...

I don't use cellphones, I use smoke signals.