Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Castration Ruled as Mandatory Procedure

Alot of different people have been pleading their case for us to circumcise our child. I've been a strong opponent of circumcision, but I'm starting to understand the rationale behind it. If I have a boy and opt for him to be cut, he will have a penis that is easier to clean and, therefore, less likely to suffer from infection. From a purely medical stance, it makes sense, right?

Why stop there? I'm sure there are numerous other body parts just waiting to fowl up. If we removed the testicles from every male child then there would never be another case of testicular cancer. Oh, there are other organs that people get cancer in? Well, remove them, too. And if we end up as nothing more than a head in a formaldehyde jar, at least we won't have to worry about cutting our fingernails.

Another place people often get cancer in are breasts. It's like a cruel joke that God plays that something so wonderful can be so deadly. Oh, I can't catch breast cancer by simply squeezing and/or motor-boating a pair of breasts? Well, then who cares? And that's obviously the position the U.S. Preventive Services Task Force is taking. They just released their recommendation that women should start receiving mammograms starting at age 50, as opposed to their previous recommendation of age 40. They're saying that the insurance companies will continue to cover mammograms before the age of 50, but that they shouldn't be viewed as mandatory. I'm as confident that the insurance companies will cover an unnecessary procedure as I am that there's probably a lobbyist on the PSTF board.

Now all I need is a rubber band and a hacksaw.


Peter Varvel said...

"Motorboating a pair?" I'm pretty sure I understand what that means (it's kinda' obvious), but just to be sure, please post a photo of you engaged in said act.

Michael DeAntonio said...

Peter, I'm not sure your mom would want me posting that picture.

Oh, snap.

Emily said...

Here ye! Here ye! Aside from the motor-boating, I think I've actually made the exact same argument. (Yeah, our son is intact.) Good luck with all the important decision making!

Prince Gomolvilas said...

Uncircumcised is the way to go! Hands off!